REBT then provides a variety of methods to help people reformulate their dysfunctional beliefs into more sensible, realistic and helpful ones by employing the powerful REBT technique called “disputing.” Ultimately, REBT helps individuals to develop a philosophy and approach to living that can increase their effectiveness and satisfaction at work, in living successfully with others, in parenting and educational settings, in making our community and environment healthier, and in enhancing their own emotional health and personal welfare.
Which personality did you get? let us know in the comments
the Family Council before he has had his first drink of the day. Begin,
without anger or spite, “I/we have decided that I/we will no longer
accept your addiction because it is too painful, ugly, and depressing.
We love the memory of the better person you once were, but we do not
love the stinky, dangerous animal you’ve become. Now you must choose
between your addiction and this family. You can’t have it both ways any
longer. You must answer this question, so listen carefully: What is your
plan for the future use of alcohol and other drugs? Are you going to
use again in this lifetime, or are you not? You don’t have to answer me
immediately, but I must have an answer by ____. (Say when, but keep it
within 24 hours maximum, preferably 2 - 4 hours later). We hope you’ll
choose to stay in the family, but please believe me, your next drink/fix
will be your way of leaving this family. If you continue your
self-intoxication, wherever you are, you will be free to follow your your
addiction wherever it takes you, but you will no longer be welcome here or
in our hearts.”
Tell him you expect a personal guarantee that he’ll never drink again, and with only one strike and he’s out. For success, the addicted family member should be expected to permanently withdraw from recovery group participation and addiction treatment services, and, of course, the family must desist from participating in the anti-family, addiction-coddling programming of Al-Anon.
The AVRT zero-tolerance ultimatum applies to all addicted family members including minors and persons under psychiatric care. The only exception is for mentally incompetent people, gravely disabled and unable to enter into personal agreements, an extremely rare situation. Addiction does not fall into any psychiatric category, no matter how many diagnostic manuals insist otherwise.
5. Take the Crash Course on AVRT for Families , which will improve your insight and develop some emotional muscle so you can force your addicted family member to choose between addiction and good standing in the family. Distribute copies of Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction to all of the key family members who are affected by this addiction, including you. At that time, set a time for a Family Council, with other selected family members present, when the family addict will be required to choose between his addiction and family benefits, family participation, and/or family membership. Make sure that all parties are informed that AVRT is a summary of the (your last name) family values, and that one-day-at-a-time sobriety isn’t good enough for the family, nor for the family addict. All involved should make use of the extended Rational Recovery website, with the opional backup of AVRTeleConference services as a cost-effective avenue to life after addiction and recovery.
Suppose that what happens is this. Every day you come to school, to the office, whatever it is, and you bring a bagged lunch, and you put it in the office refrigerator. And you include, along with your lunch, a dessert; let’s say a cookie. And every day at one o’clock, when you go to grab your lunch out of the refrigerator, you look inside and you see somebody has stolen your cookie. Well, it’s a bad thing; it’s not the worst thing in the world, but it’s a bad thing to have somebody steal your cookie. And furthermore, this is more than a negligible chance. So, we’ve got condition one, condition two in place — bad thing and a nonnegligible chance of it happening. In fact, not only is it not a negligible chance that it’s happening — guaranteed, it happens day after day after day after day. Bad thing, guaranteed. And you know precisely how bad it is. I put it to you, fear in that case doesn’t make any sense.
REBT also differs from other early forms of therapy in its focus on the present; in fact, according to Ellis, a common irrational belief is that our past has a significant influence on our present life (McLeod, 2015)! While our past does, of course, shape who we are today, it is an irrational belief if you feel you cannot escape your past.
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